Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.[My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history.Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.

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“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.

“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.

Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.

He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.

So I dumped him.] In a recent online survey of 900 Asian American men, Liu found that Asian men frequently feel stereotyped as lacking masculinity; they also said they’re perceived as undesirable and as too passive.

Part of the problem, she says, is that the white American man has become the standard for what is attractive. There are few Asian American male leads in Hollywood, and only recently have more Asian characters been cast as love interests.

This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.

Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.

He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.