“How can you tell who you want to marry if you aren’t going out on dates? I ignored their advice on relationships, preferring to listen to the young people around me who were passionate advocates of courtship.” my grandmother wondered every time the topic came up. They both obstinately held to the position that courtship was a foolish idea. As I grew older, I started to speak at homeschool conferences and events.

When I was a teenager, my friends started reading this new book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. After reading it myself, I grew into as big an opponent of dating as you could find.

Dating was evil and Courtship, whatever it was, was godly, good and Biblical.

The Primary Dating Rule: Don’t go out with the same guy twice in a row. She explained that the lack of exclusivity helped them guard their hearts and kept things from getting too serious too quickly. The lack of exclusivity helped the girls guard their hearts and kept the boys from feeling entitled to the girl.

So if she went out for soda with Bob on Tuesday, she had to go to a movie with Bill on Thursday before she could go to the school dance with Bob on Saturday. The lack of exclusivity kept the interactions fun and casual. How could a boy have a claim to her time, heart or body if she was going out with someone else later that week?

Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.

When my grandmother dated in middle school (yes, middle school) her parents had one primary rule for her.

She had predicted the failure of courtship back in the 90s and I wanted to understand how and why. After 20 years there still is no general consensus as to what courtship is.

But here are the elements most conservative communities have in common: My grandmother grew up in a marginally Christian community.

Kailyn, who's authored books including Hustle and Heart, Pride Over Pity and Love is Bubblegum, was previously rumored to be in a same-sex romance with her friend Becky Hayter, after the duo was seen kissing at a Pride event in Asbury Park, New Jersey in June of 2016.